When Jamila Sajid was eight, her headmaster told her to wear a hijab and burka. Her two sisters conformed, but she rebelled. That day she told her mother, âMy school days are finishedâ. Over 50 years on, she continues to challenge stereotypes about how Muslim women and men should behave.
Jamila was born poor in a remote village in East Pakistan, now Bangladesh. Her father was a Muslim firefighter who had lost one eye and only came home once a month with 69 rupees. Her mother was a traditional Indian Hindu-turned-Muslim who wore a burka all her life. âI listened to my mother sometimes,â says Jamila, âbut nobody can say anything to me.â She became a tomboy, with her fatherâs loving, independent spirit.
The family moved to Lahore, West Pakistan, when her oldest brother, now Professor Irshad Siddiqui, won a scholarship and married. He took on extra teaching to enable his sisters to continue their schooling. In Lahore Jamila found freedom of choice rather than traditional custom. âEducation helps emancipation, dispels taboos and keeps Islam moderate â the under-educated become fundamentalists as theyâre easily influenced,â she reflects today.
At 16, Jamila married Abduljalil Sajid, a young academic and Imam. At first, he âwishedâ her to cover her hair â she refused. âIt would be dishonourable for me to force you,â was his attitude. They are open-minded with their three daughters and two sons, supporting them as independent people expressing their own personalities. âI am lucky I married an Imam who is âmoderateâ,â says Jamila. Sajid, who is acknowledged as an authority on Islam, comments, âAs Imam and husband, I have no right to tell my wife what to wear or how to behave.â
Shortly after their marriage, Sajid travelled to Britain to start a PhD. Jamila joined him later, and they set up home in Brighton. Sajid established the first mosque in Brighton, and served as its Imam for 35 years. He helped to establish many other mosques across the UK, gaining the honoured title of Mufti. Jamila ran the Muslim Ladies Circle, with women referred through mosques and for anyone of any faith. She worked, to gain economic independence, and as a community interpreter in Urdu, Bengali and Punjabi, liaising with police, hospitals, lawyers and immigration.
Jamila points out that in Islam, as in Christianity, âculture and religion get horribly mixed upâ. True Islam is surrender of self to Godâs way of peace, respect, equality and mutual support. âWe must stop menâs attitude to women, by education in schools and mosques.â
She regrets the influence of âignorance and false teachingâ, and how few people really want to change the status quo. âReligious leaders have power â but they abuse it, not wanting to give equality. How do we get through to them? If parents are not well educated, they canât teach their children the truth. They think going to mosque will make children good Muslims, but young people are easy targets for brainwashing and radicalisation.
âSegregation of women from men in the mosque is not Islamic or Qurâanic. Weâre supposed to worship together equally â but men get distracted by women bending forward during prayers, so women are hidden away. Thatâs cultural, not what God wants. Our word kawami means men have a duty towards women, to care and provide, not dominate. Itâs about honour.â
In September 2006, at the invitation of the British Council in Karachi, Jamila shared a platform with her husband on âThere is no honour in honour killingâ. âHonour killing is a pre-Islamic custom, based on ignorance and disregard of morals and laws. Itâs against the teachings of Islam and Shariah law: all forms of life are sacred,â she explains.
Imam Sajid addresses the âThere is no honour in honour killingâ conference at the British Council in Karachi in 2006.
Honour killings in the UK have risen 53 per cent since 2014. We discuss the recent case in Surrey of an uncle kidnapping, raping and cutting up his niece before putting her body in a deep freeze because âshe brought dishonour upon the familyâ. Jamila comments, âMuslims can meet or marry whomever they love.â One of her sons married a Jewish woman and the other a Christian. âAll are children of God,â she says.
âTraining should be given at high school, and to the judiciary, police and scholars, to completely eradicate honour killing and abuse of women,â she insists. âFemale genital mutilation, forced marriage and honour-based violence, child trafficking, rape and selling daughters are not Qurâanic.
âI say to women: be strong. Donât let your husband or any man force you to do what you neednât do. You have rights to be happy, contented, protected and cared for. Or find someone else!
âTo men I say: respect, love and care for one another. No abuse â your wife is equal, not a servant. You are the main provider, and a working wife keeps her own earnings.
âTo children I say: be good people, value everything from your parents, who should love you unconditionally.
âTo all I say: be unselfish and forgiving; we all make mistakes. Bad deeds you can overcome by good deeds. Help each other understand truth and love. Read and learn what the Qurâan and Islam really teach.â
Photos: Yee-Liu Williams, Courtesy of Abduljalil and Jamila Sajid